Nonsensical Disclaimers

Here are some random thoughts & nonsensical disclaimers:

• Children, get your parent's permission before reading.
• Not for internal use.
• I love escalators because they can never break - they can only become stairs.
• Not to be consumed with shellfish.
• Rinse, lather, and repeat.
• Not for use while sleeping.
• Really, don't you have work you could be doing?
• I like refried beans, but I wanna try fried beans 'cuz maybe they're just as good and we're wasting time.
• Apply generously, then wait ten minutes.
• I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
• Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but "Put your two cents in?" Someone's making a profit on that deal!
• This blog not to be used as a flotation device.
• I like rice. Rice is great if you're really hungry and you want 2000 of something.
• Individuality--great in everything but police line-ups.
• The trouble with being punctual is that no one's there to appreciate it.