Daughter Humbles Daddy

Anyone who knows me realizes I'm the type of guy that thrives on being funny. I just love making people laugh, and always have...and it's clear that I'm a lot like God in that way (ducking that lightning), because He obviously also has a very well-developed sense of humor.

You see, He decided that since I enjoy making people laugh and a large part of my identity is that I see myself as quite a humorous individual, that what would be good for me is to have someone in my life that just doesn't find me funny. (I don't count my wife in this role. She found me hilarious when we were dating, but now pretends she's heard all these stories before. My theory, though, is that women like to be in control, and a humorous man such as myself takes that control by inducing laughter. So rather than suffer chucklencitis, the little-known condition where the body goes into shock from so much hilarity, she protects herself from this by continual subtle lip-biting. This pain keeps her from actually verbally expressing laughter.) But I digress.

It's really our daughter, Aubrey, who God has sent to humble her daddy. For no matter what I do, she's not amused. She just looks at me with her big, beautiful blue eyes and blinks. I've tried everything. Dancing like a spastic fool to some crazy rap song? Aubrey yawns. Gregorian chanting while juggling flaming monkeys? Nothing. Sucking in helium to sing Bohemian Rhapsody all the way through in my chipmunk voice while standing on my head wearing a clown outift? Uh-uh. Aubrey falls asleep. Resorting to allowing my son to hit me in the crotch (as everyone knows, crotch-pain humor is the most desperate of all humor offerings) with a light saber, while simultanously gargling with guacamole? Aubrey pretends to find our cat fascinating.

The good news, though, is that she definitely has the ability to laugh. Loudly. And repeatedly... at my son, Caden. He goes up and just says hi really close to her face, and she thinks this is just the bee's knees. He runs around in a circle and then falls over. She snorts milk through her nose. I mean, we're talking really pedestrian material that my son is coming up with, yet she finds it hysterical.

My wife can also make her laugh. You know, by kissing her face, ohhh...LOOKING AT HER.

But that's ok, because I know one day it will happen. I'm plotting all sorts of joviality to unleash that she won't be able to resist.

But hey, even if I never make Aubrey laugh, that's ok. Because I know someone who is just CRACKING UP AT ME.

God.

I'll have the last laugh on Him too though. He'll never see this one coming...

(He doesn't know it yet, but my next tithe check? Only 9%. Heh heh.)

Um, that wasn't thunder...

Was it?