Sprain in the Spirit

Here's a little story I cooked up after my wife and I were having a conversation recently about church healing services...I couldn't resist writing it once I thought of the title!

Sprain In The Spirit - The People vs. The Holy Ghost

-Goodyear, AZ

Calling himself a "personal spiritual-injury attorney", Donald P. Schmuckford claims that hundreds, if not thousands, of believers have been injured by the Spirit of the Lord and he's decided to take his case to court, having recently filed a class-action law suit against the Holy Spirit himself.

Schmuckford says he's received call after call from clients who have attended various church healing services, only to be further injured in the process. "It's just not right," he says. "These people in trust are coming to healing services with a variety of ailments, only to be further harmed by careless pastors whose sanctuaries are not properly outfitted for this."

When the pastors pray over them, and inevitably press forcefully on their foreheads to initiate the healing, Schmuckford claims his clients at times fall backwards onto wooden pews or equipment on the stage, in cases where the pastor slays them in the wrong direction.

"Frankly, I'm not sure why pastors can't set up cushioned mats behind parishioners, or mattresses, or something, to prepare for these healing services. Or better yet, why can't they have church members sit or lay down first, then go for the forehead? I'm not even sure I get the whole forehead-pressing thing, myself - can't they get slain with a light tap on the back, or perhaps an energetic high-five? We'd see far fewer injuries that way and it might be more fun, no?"

Schmuckford doesn't deny that folks are often healed by the Holy Spirit, only adding that they sometimes then suffer further injuries through the slaying process, he says.

"One poor guy suffered from severe ingrown toenails going into the service, which the Holy Ghost did indeed heal. But because he fell back onto a sound-mixing board when the pastor gave him the 'old-V-8-tap' on the head during the slay-ification process, he ended up needing back surgery due to the tremendous impact of that fall. It's nuts."

The legal beagle also details a story of several parishioners who were injured in a domino-type effect when fourteen heal-ees were slain simultaneously, leading to several broken bones, a dislocated shoulder, and one groin injury.

When asked why he's suing the third member of the Trinity, rather than the pastors who would seem to be more at fault, Schmuckford retorts, "You've got to go after the source of power, and clearly the Holy Spirit is ultimately responsible in such mishaps. Besides", he adds, "where would the sizzle and publicity come from if I were to sue 'Joe Pastor of the local congregation'?! You gotta go after the deep pockets - that's just the way the system works!"

Check out the powerful music video for "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns

Casting Crowns song "Slow Fade" makes a strong statement about how easily small choices can lead to devastating consequences in our lives. I thought the video (just released) was extremely powerful and an encouragement to pursue purity with all the strength I have, lest I fall victim to temptations in life that will lead me away from God and my family.

Our culture is loaded with ideas about doing whatever feels good and putting yourself and your needs (and wants) above all else. But in reality, we are called to sacrifice and love one another as God loves us (remember that Golden Rule you learned as a kid?), not to selfishly chase after what we want.

I think this video is a great reminder of why we need to put others before ourselves in life. Click here to watch it.

I've also added the song's lyrics below, in case you'd like to read them. And please share this with other folks who will find it encouraging!

Lyrics to "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

MMMMMM...freeesh vooice demooo

NOW packed with more versatili-ticiousness in LESS time than EVER before!!

CJ Adams.mp3

Antonio & the Pasta Contest

4/17 - UPDATE - Apparently some PC-users can't see the video here - not sure why, but you can find it on YouTube by searching "Antonio and the Pasta Contest" - or you can watch it here also...enjoy!

Jingle all the way...

Here's some jingles I did recently. The rock one was especially fun as it's the closest I've ever come to imagining I was a rock star (the client wanted a Van Morrison sound-alike). Even though it was for a casino commercial and not for a stadium of my adoring fans - STILL cool! ; )

Return of the VoiceBoy

I'm BACK, BAYBAY! (think George Costanza)

It's been forever since I posted anything to this account, but I'm really focusing on doing more voice over work now so I thought I'd test out Blogger's capabilities. I just learned you can actually upload content here, so I am posting my demo for any and all to hear.

Eventually I'll create a new blog just with my voice over work solely for business purposes but this is just to try it out...

So for anyone curious as to what kinds of voices I can do, enjoy.

             

Also, I've now added a couple more spots below - one being the Ah-Nold one from the radio station morning shows I did, and the other is my favorite character of all the ones I've created for various commercials so far...

See ya!

CJ

OK, so HERE'S the Ah-Nold I promised a long time ago..

This came about when I called in to Peak 95.1's morning show back when I was living in CO Springs - they asked listeners to call in with their best impressions of Arnold Schwarzenegger, (at the time, Arnold was the newly elected Governator of CA). They had listeners call in to vote for the best one, and I won the contest.

This then led to them asking me to call in occasionally just to do impromptu "chats" with them as the Governator. It was a blast doing it. None of this was scripted, so I didn't always come up with the perfect line, but for what it was, I think it turned out pretty well and was fun to do and a good test of my improv abilities...!